BCCI plans to cancel world cricket as Sachin Tendulkar’s retirement looms

sachin_tendulkar-420x0

It’s been a truly devastating time in Indian cricket. Besides actively choosing to avoid the awesomeness of a Newlands test match against the Proteas this Summer, they have to to pull each other closer as a nation and prepare for the departure of their president for the past twenty years, Sachin Tendulkar.

Departure, you ask? Is Tendulkar ill? Are we losing him? Well, yes and no. The one player who has given meaning to Indian sport over the past two decades has decided to hang up his bat and effectively end world cricket with immediate effect. He will play his 200th test match against the “so-so” West Indies which will be the highlight of all those West Indians lives forever. They have no choice in the matter. Not the kind of fireworks exit the Board of Control for Cricket in India and the World Everywhere (BCCI) would want for the person keeping any kind of sport interest in the country alive.

But retirements are messy, as we all know from Mark Boucher’s painful exit, and they aren’t always pretty, but BCCI has made it clear that cricket will cease to exist once the Little Master leaves.

On Twitter, they started a hashtag that gave us what I consider a warning of what’s to come – #ThankYouSachin.

BCCI1

My god, 200 facts about one human being. Wikipedia may not even hold that many. I can almost picture Sachin saying “chill, guys.”

The tweets predictably listed the lists that list Sachin as the best,

BCCI4 BCCI5

It is said that Sachin Tendulkar has dethroned bread and milk on a grocery list as the most listed thing on any list made around the world.

But 200 facts it is and they were well on their way. As the tweeting and fact-sharing went on, the tweets just started to look weird.

BCCI6

Thank you Sachin for exercising your free will.

#ThankYouSachin could easily be turned to #WeWorshipSachin #NothingAnyoneElseAchievesMeansAnything which leads to my favourite fact…

BCCI3

The tweet made it look like the sole reason this grown man had achieved anything in his life was because of Tendulkar. And I’m pretty sure once we reach the 200th fact, cricket and the universe will have to close shop completely.

BCCI will now have to scramble to look for meaning in their own existence. Other nations will stagger around aimlessly not being able to have anyone to compare their best batsman to and finally…FINALLY Jacques Kallis will continue the career he’s been putting on hold and get the respect (by respect I mean be put on lists, dammit) he deserves now that his closest living rival exits the game stage left.

But to Sachin, thank you for the memories. I owe my talents and growth to you, not to the parents who nurtured me and invested in me, but you who just played lots and lots of cricket. You are the reason I’m the cricket-loving woman I am today.

Advertisements

One thought on “BCCI plans to cancel world cricket as Sachin Tendulkar’s retirement looms

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s